Dealing with infertility is never easy. There are so many challenges to work through, your emotions are riding high, and it’s not uncommon to feel ashamed or guilty as you go through the process, even when it isn’t your fault.
Friends celebrating the joy of pregnancy around you can make things even more difficult.
Of course, you’re happy for the people in your life. A baby is something to be celebrated, and you’ll get to be a part of those little ones’ lives as soon as they’re born.
But, it’s often frustrating to see friends get pregnant so easily when you’re doing everything in your power to have a baby of your own.
So, how can you deal with that frustration? How can you combat the pain of infertility when your friends are becoming pregnant?
It’s Okay to Feel Frustrated
If you feel frustrated about infertility when your friends are becoming pregnant, that’s okay. Allow yourself to experience your feelings. Acknowledge and validate them. While you might not express your frustration to your pregnant friends, talk to someone about them.
You’re not a bad friend for feeling that way, and it doesn’t mean you’re any less excited for the ones who are pregnant. Sweeping your emotions under the rug will only make them stronger and you’ll end up feeling worse.
Do what you need to let that frustration out. Hit a punching bag. Scream into a pillow. Go on a long run. Whatever you do, don’t push it down.
Find Your Support System
Your pregnant friends can still be a strong support system.
However, right now, it might be better to lean on others in your life who can listen to what you’re dealing with without feeling guilty or somehow sympathetic.
Find the people you can be open with about your struggles and your frustrations. Most people will offer a shoulder to lean on and actionable advice without judging your frustrations or making you feel guilty.
Sometimes, just talking to someone and having your emotions acknowledged can make a big difference in how you feel.
If you can’t think of anyone in your personal life you want to talk to, consider joining an online support group. There are many women out there going through similar situations, and talking to them will help you feel less alone.
Everyone’s pregnancy journey is different.
Chances are, you haven’t opened up to your friends about every last detail of your infertility issues. Not everything is pretty or easy, and there are some things people tend to keep to themselves.
With that in mind, don’t assume it was easy for your friend(s) to get pregnant. Don’t assume they’re not scared, or hesitant. Maybe they have a history of medical issues in their family. Maybe they don’t feel completely ready to have a baby.
Everyone is dealing with something. Comparing your journey with your friends’ journeys is like comparing apples and oranges. While everything about their pregnancy might look perfect on the surface, don’t automatically assume that’s reality – especially if you’re following their journey on social media. That often serves as a “highlight reel” of what’s really going on.
Reach Out for Help
The most important thing you can keep reminding yourself of right now is that you’re not alone. If you’re struggling with frustration, guilt, or grief, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for help.
Feel free to contact me if you’re dealing with those feelings. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have, or set up an appointment where we can discuss your frustration and healthy ways you can cope with it as you continue on this journey. Reach out to me to get started so you can learn how infertility counseling or hypnosis for fertility can help you.