It’s estimated that 10-15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That might not seem like a large number, but for the women experiencing the loss of a baby, it’s devastating. A miscarriage is a crushing loss, no matter how far along the pregnancy is.
It’s perfectly normal for a woman to feel overwhelmed with grief after losing a baby at any stage. If you’re struggling, it’s essential to know that you’re not alone in your grief. It’s even more important to know that it doesn’t have to last forever.
While you’ll never forget the child you carried or the loss you’ve experienced, it’s possible to cope with your overwhelming emotions, work through your grief, and move forward. Let’s look at a few strategies you can use to cope after a miscarriage, and how you can find peace again.
Accept the Truth
It’s not uncommon for women to not want to believe the reality of their miscarriage. You might initially ask for a second opinion from a different doctor, or want to know what else you can do to “save” your baby, even though they’re already gone.
Denial is often the first stage of the grieving process. Being able to accept reality is the only way to start healing and moving forward. Although moving past denial is difficult and often heartbreaking, it’s necessary for your well-being.
Lean On Your Partner
If you’re dealing with this grief with a partner who would’ve been your child’s other parent, lean on them. They might not be experiencing the same level of pain and devastation as you are since you were the one carrying the baby. However, they lost a child, too.
They’re going to be able to understand you better than anyone else, and you two can lean on each other for support. Even if you simply need a shoulder to cry on or someone to help you feel less alone and isolated, your partner is a perfect resource, and they likely need you just as much as you need them.
If you don’t have a partner or you’re still struggling, reach out to family members and friends.
It’s easy to want to withdraw from the people and things you love. Unfortunately, that makes things worse. You don’t need to go out and have a great time with everyone right now, but being around people who care about you and trying to stay involved in things you enjoy can help you move forward.
Memorialize Your Child
No matter what stage of pregnancy you were in, losing a life that was growing inside of you is devastating.
You don’t have to “ignore” that loss or disregard it just because the baby wasn’t born. It can help with healing and make it easier to find closure if you do something to memorialize your baby. That could include framing an early ultrasound picture, placing a small statue or another piece of decor in your home to serve as a memorial device, or creating a small book to commemorate the pregnancy milestones you reached along the way.
Reach Out for Help
If you’re not progressing through the stages of grief and you’re having a hard time coping, don’t be too hard on yourself. Letting grief go without moving forward can lead to other mental health issues, including severe depression.
If you feel that’s the case, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Consider contacting me for more information or to set up an appointment. Talking to a mental health professional can help you work through your grief in healthy, effective ways, so you can find comfort in the midst of your sadness and pain. Grief counseling can help you with this, let’s connect soon.